Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
