we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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