it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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