I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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