she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize