good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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