I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
