PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
