I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
