i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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