My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
