somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This baby is an asshole
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
