Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
