Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
