Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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