i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize