There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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