Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
