Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
