apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
