i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
