Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
