That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
