are you still at the devil's house?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
