it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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