he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
