love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
