At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
