you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
