Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
