new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
