he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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