I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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