he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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