I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
