This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
