woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
