yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
