his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize