Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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