So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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