dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
