Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize