im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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