I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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