haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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