How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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