Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
