Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize