butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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