so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize