i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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