how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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