I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize