i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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