New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
