I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
