She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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