the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
