Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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