so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
