Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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