I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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