You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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