Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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